Part 1:
I conducted this experiment with my beautiful, funny, smart, talented girlfriend yesterday. I explained the rules and we immediately started our conversation. Having to hold a conversation without being able to vocalize proved to be difficult at first, but ended up being easier with time because of the person I was communicating with. Because I was communicating with my girlfriend whom I have been dating for around a year, I was able to better pick up on certain patterns and hints that she gave with her various gesticulations. This experiment would have been much more difficult had I been paired with someone that I was not as well-acquainted with. The absence of spoken word communication actively forced us to use larger, more grandiose expressions of what we wanted to get across to the other.
Initially, I was in control of the conversation because she didn't quite understand the concept fully when I explained, but once we got used to talking without our voices, I noticed that she changed the topics more than I did. She started to ask more questions, which I would answer and ask another back to her. Thinking in terms of balance of power, I believe it was relatively equal in our voiceless conversation. I started out asking more questions and creating topics to talk about but once we got more comfortable, she began to change topics and even joke with me which I found to be really amazing given the circumstances.
The speaking culture definitely has the advantage when explaining ideas because of their ability to completely and clearly explain the points of view that they have. The speaking culture might adopt a superior attitude toward the non-speaking culture because they can't communicate as thoroughly as the speaking culture. When a deaf/mute person tries to communicate with a person not familiar with sign language, it may replicate these feelings because of the inability for one side to fully express themselves.
Part 2:
Again, I conducted this experiment with my girlfriend and we both agree that it was the more difficult of the two. Because we were both allowed to speak, we decided to give our conversation more substance than the last. Not being able to read the body language and inflection made it extremely difficult to discern whether we were being sarcastic or serious. She said that she felt completely lost in the conversation because I joke so much and use sarcasm so often, she felt it was near impossible to tell what I actually meant by just the words that came out of my mouth. I found it difficult as well because she is usually so animated in the way she speaks that it felt really forced and sarcastic the entire time she was speaking.
Reading body language is a huge part of communication. It allows a person to say something that has one meaning if taken literally, but mean something completely different just by exaggerating a certain word or making a certain movement. It really emphasizes the words that are being said and really allows a person to express their opinion more freely with more understanding from the other party. It also allows for jokes to be told and received. Without body language and changes in tone of voice, conversations would be terribly boring and have no interesting viewpoints to discuss.
Reading body language is helpful in understanding what people think. Anyone can say anything at any time, making people's word a very hard thing to completely trust. If reading body language is mastered, however, one can dive into people's minds, mining through their brains and finding what they are really thinking. Having this knowledge will allow one to know exactly what to say at what times to get the most favorable result for themselves.
People who are socially inept generally have poor body language comprehension. They typically do not pick up on cues like facing away from them, short answers or trying to start another conversation with someone else. On the contrary, someone who is hyper-aware of body language can use this to their advantage, sending mixed signals to the person they are talking to. This creates a chess game in the heads of the two conversationalists that is filled with mind games and attempts to psyche one another out.
Good opening description of Part A.
ReplyDeleteDo you think the balance of control you felt in the conversation had anything to do with her perhaps letting you have that control? If you had tried this experiment with someone different, such as a co-worker or boss or stranger on the bus, do you think you would have had that equality in control? Perhaps it wasn't so much equal control as much as her willingness to let you feel some control, in which case, was it really under your control to begin with?
Good discussion on the issue of two cultures. Yes, a person who is unable to speak in a "normal" fashion (be it for physical, mental or cultural reasons) would exemplify this situation when talking with someone who was comfortable with the dominant language?
Good description of the difficulties you experienced in Part B.
Is it really just an issue of interest and boredom, as far as the benefits of body language? Yes, non-spoken language contributes meaning and clarification, but it also allows people to verify what you are saying, kind of like a lie-detector. If your body language doesn't match the words you are saying, this tells the person that you aren't telling the truth and perhaps can't be trusted. Why would this be beneficial in an adaptive sense?
Good discussion on the adaptive benefits of body language.
There is natural variation in all of our abilities to read body language, just as with any trait, from the "socially inept" to the other end of the spectrum, but there are specific groups that have significant impairment in reading body language, such as those in the autism spectrum and also (to a certain degree) those who are blind.
Missing the final question. Can you think of a situation where it would help you NOT to read body language? Are there situations where body language might mislead or lie to you? Do all cultures use the same system of body language?
I also found the part of the experiment difficult with the absence of body language. I do have to say that not picking up on body language may not always be because of being socially inept. I think body language can be taken differently based on culture which is something we all as people need to look out for in our day to day interactions. Great post it was very interesting!
ReplyDeleteReally liked your post! I totally agree with you in regards to being part 2 being the hardest. Using simple hand gestures and changing the tone of your voice has a dramatic effect on the way we communicate. So I completely understand the difficulty of getting your point across
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